This Week's Headlines
September 4, 2024
Ally, Attach, or Affiliate Your Charity with a
Character, Event, Landmark, Date, Invention
worthy of being named one of the
250 STARS OF AMERICAN HISTORY
Completely Free
No Forms
No Fees
COME WITH THE TEARITORY
Illinois Governor bans the new novel CWTT
by Auden Le Field, 16-year old handicapped fugitive orphan and author, who proposes dividing Illinois into three separate states. Auden's agent, Melissa Brace,
murdered in Chicago.
Tearitory Video
Jill Marie, eight-year old deaf fugitive orphan and equestrian, can only salvage one seven-second bootleg clip of her new video from the ruins of Studio Sawdust.
CLICK TO PLAY NOW
THE MINUTEMAN
Billy the Grid, 14-year old fugitive orphan
and blind Mongolian savant, devises
THE MAN (THE MA'AM),
providing one square minute of latitude
and longitude anywhere in the world for
your own representative purposes in
HEXODUS and LA HAMPHITHEATRE.
Ramblin' Rose
Searing Veils -- 30-year old classical linguist, fetching actress, and artist -- aids and abets the orphans, providing them this gang symbol of their own for safe passage through the south and west sides of Chicago,
and very worst parts of Kane.
MISSISSIPPI Meander
When she heard Illinois was collapsing in crime and bankruptcy, Nuttah Chance --
14-year old fugitive orphan and
Princess Warrior of the Moon God -- galloped back to reclaim it for her tribe. However, once lost, she now claimed the entire Mississippi River Valley...and ordered more Dairy Queens.
HEXODUS
SHOWDOWN #2
FUGITIVE ORPHANS vs. WASHINGTON D.C.
Opus Ray, ten year old Conquistador
and classical guitarist, could never find
The City of Gold, so Sister Storm suggested
he find just the right location for HEXODUS:
the new Lifeboat Capital of the United States.
LET FREEDOM RING
Providing august ceremony for Sister Storm's LA HAMPHITHEATRE, 22-year old orphanage guardian and convicted felon Topeka Snow begins arranging a parade ringing the earth.
360 degrees of repaRAtions
Seraphim Goldenrod, five-year old fugitive orphan and Gallic mystic, took to the thug life, and now even further identifies with her idol, Joan of Arc, and is kindly writing the
Princess of Wales asking for England's apology for killing this teenage girl
who always said her daily prayers
and went to Mass.
P.S. Get Well Soon, Kate!
USA ROUTE 250
Marquis de Rod, 30-year old race car driver and boat designer, paves the way to America's SesterCentennial,
the 250th Anniversary of the
Declaration of Independence.
La HAMPHITHEATRE
SHOWDOWN #3
FUGITIVE ORPHANS vs. THE UNITED NATIONS
Mother Superior, Our Lady of the Sawdust, Sister Arminius Storm is replacing the
United Nations by not using nations; rather, an assembly determined by geographic position. Any opposition, she concludes,
certainly won't be united.
HIGH WATER MARKET
36-year old riverboat pilot and riverine merchant, Marina Marché, gushingly presents THE MA'AM (THE MAN): providing one square minute of latitude and longitude anywhere in the world for your own representative purposes in HEXODUS and LA HAMPHITHEATRE.
*** $60 in Advance ***
Plot HEARD 'rouND THE WORLD
MINUTEMAN! MINUTE MA'AM!
Get yourself on the map.
Record your 15 minutes of fame.
LOS SIETE MAGNIFICOS
Action Adventure Miniseries
Cost: $3.6 million.
*** NOW CASTING ***
Constructing HEXODUS
Action Adventure Show
Cost: $60 (sixty-dollars) for your place on the map.
*** NOW CASTING ***
USA ROUTE 250
National Tournament for the
2026 SesterCentenntial.
Cost: $25,000 per State Team
*** NOW CASTING ***
360 DEGREES OF REPARATIONS
International Action Adventure Show.
Cost: $360,000 ($1,000 per degree.)
*** NOW CASTING ***
CONTACT
(telephone number on request)
Magnetic Pole Barn
Le Grand Village of the Illinois
COPYRIGHT CHANNEL ETERNITY MMXXIV
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED FOR ETERNITY